The modern doctor

Last week I had the most interesting of experiences at the doctors.  I had been feeling below par for a few days but unfortunately there is no such thing as a 'sick' day for Nanny Mummy.  By mid week I had a headache that felt like a someone was sitting right on top of my head and I had to really concentrate to keep my eyes open.  Not from tiredness (thats a pretty normal, everyday feeling for me) but more like there were little lead weights attached to my eyelids pulling them down.  My throat was also red raw and I felt like I was swallowing razor blades!!  So I decided I'd book myself a doctors appointment.

I dropped the kids off at school and Kindy and gave the surgery a call.  My usual doctor was fully booked but receptionist suggested I see another doctor who was free at 11am.  "Perfect" I thought!  If I didn't take that appointment I knew I wouldn't get another chance.  At 11am on the dot, a very 'hippy' looking lady called me into her room and introduced herself with a heavy German accent.  I explained to her that I wasn't feeling great and that I had a particularly sore throat.  She peered at me over the top of her glasses and I suddenly felt very silly.  Perhaps I was being a bit of a hypochondriac, I suddenly thought!!!

She had a good look down my throat with a rather large torch, felt the glands in my neck and then began to tell me that I did in fact have a viral infection.  "Phew!  I thought - thank god it's something!!".  I felt much happier and waited patiently for her to write me a prescription for a miracle cure so I could go and do the groceries without feeling like death.

I had to take a picture of her "prescription" and send it to Mr D as he didn't believe me when I told him about the sock!!

This is what she gave me!  I read it.  Read it again! and then looked up at her slightly bewildered.   Without even batting an eyelid she said "Zee tissue in zee throat is very swollen!!"  "You must get zee pillowcase.  It must be cotton and soak it in zee cold water!  Wring it out, wrap it around zee neck and fasten with zee nappy pin.  Then you must wrap with zee woollen sock.  It must be woollen otherwise it will not trap zee heat.  Then you must sleep like this all night."  I could actually feel myself starting to giggle, but she was so deadly serious that I had to bite my botton lip in restraint so not to appear rude.

She then proceeded to tell me to make sure I kept myself extra warm and to double wrap a scarf around my neck all day to keep the area hot as heat helps to fight infection!  Had she been outside today I wondered.......it was 34 degrees!!!!  If I was to wear a double scarf around my neck all day people would think I was mad!!  At least I'd have no problem keeping warm.

Last on the list was to not eat sugar for a week as apparently sugar will feed the bacteria making the infection worse (I thought she said it was viral??, I wondered)  I daren't ask though as I didn't want her to give me any more weird advice!  Anyway, the no sugar part was ok as that would just compliment my diet, so I could stick to that one!

So that was it!!!!!!!!  No real medicine - nothing!!  She just sent me on my way - but not before I paid $50 for the pleasure!!  Thank goodness I have private medical insurance!

Later that day I bumped into a friend and told her of my strange experience and she just laughed out loud and said "Oh bad luck, you got the Greenie!!

Now I'm all for alternative therapies, but this was just a bit much for me!  I think I'll stick to my normal GP next time, but I'm pretty sure both my mum and mother-in-law would LOVE this Greenie!