He's been travelling on and off for years, and you'd think that I would be an expert by now of 'just getting on with it'! However, for some reason, every time he leaves there is some kind of disaster and it ALWAYS happens as soon as he steps on that plane!!
When Master J was a baby, he would sometimes be away as often as every other week and I could almost guarantee that I'd be camped out at my mum and dad's for a night or two. The boiler went once and we had no hot water, and another time the heating broke and we almost froze in our beds. Oh and there was that time we got totally snowed in and mum and dad had to come to our rescue.
There was one time I will never forget though and it still makes me chuckle to this day! Mr D's parents were staying with us from South Africa and I almost had the police out in the middle of the night. My father-in-law is a journalist and although he were visiting us on holidays he still had a few stories that had to be published by a certain date (many of us know how that feels!!). One evening he decided to stay up and write them all while a (pregnant) me and my mother-in-law had an early night. My bedroom was up in the loft of our house and at some time that night (late, I think) I heard this terrible BANG and then a couple of loud CRASHES followed by frantic footsteps!! I absolutely froze in fear (and I totally forgot the my in-laws were downstairs). In my panic, I managed to grab my phone and call Mr D (who was in Amsterdam). I got through to the hotel operator "hello" I whispered (remember - complete fear) "can you put me through to Mr D's room". Operator "Sure, of course'. A few seconds later "I am sorry but there is no answer to that room". "Please" I begged "Can you go and wake him up, it's his pregnant wife calling from England and the house being burgled!!!!! Honestly, I don't know what I thought he was going to do from a hotel room in Amsterdam - in the middle of the night!!!
Suddenly the banging got even louder and I swear my legs wouldn't more. I knew that I should peak down the stairs but I was just too scared. Then my mobile rang - thank GOD!! "Babe, we're being attacked - there's a burglar in the house!!! I managed to blurt out. "Just calm down" he said "and tell me whats happening" "Well, there is really loud banging and crashing and I can hear foot steps going up and down the stairs!!!!!!!!!". "Where're my dad" he said. "Ummmmm (suddenly remembering that they were there) I don't know - downstairs I think." "I think I know what this might be, said Mr D, I'll call dad and phone you back!!
Well....... it turned out that the laptop my poor father-in-law was working on had a sudden hard drive crash and ALL his work had just vanished before his eyes. When he tried to get it back, the computer blue-screened - and we all know how bad that is!! (This can quite easily tip even the most placid person over the edge). So a coffee mug might have been thrown and there were a few rushed trips down the stairs and back. NOT A BUGLAR AT ALL!! Oh how we laugh about it now (and wonder where I got dramatics degree from).
I have also managed to crash the car and get a $500 parking fine during one of Mr D's trips too!!!!
Don't get me wrong, I'm not totally hopeless and the kids and I have had some pretty stress free times too. Over the years I have realised that its so much better to be prepared than to just wing it!
My tips for 'temporary' solo parenting
- Be organised!!! Make sure the groceries are done BEFORE he/she leaves, have a plan of action for every day and cook and freeze meals in advance.
- Consider hiring a nanny to help. When Miss L was a baby our lovely babysitter used to come over every day between 5pm and 7pm to help me with the dinner, bath and bedtime. Doing that on your own every day with multiple kids is HARD WORK!
- Ask friends for help. There is no shame in asking a friend to help with the occasional school pick up or drop off or to have your kids for a play date to give you a break. It's taken me a long time to master this one, but it's so worth it and you can always return the favour later.
- Go to bed early!!
- Make sure that any 'hard' jobs that you may need doing are done before he/she leaves (for example putting the bike rack up on the car or getting anything you may need down from the loft).
- Make sure there is wine in the fridge.
- If you are going to be alone over a weekend, try to arrange to meet up with a friend, so that you and the kids can have some company.
- Try to remember that mess never killed anyone. If you look beyond it, you'll definitely have more patience.
 |
| hopefully with a full glass! |
Do you find yourself an occasional temporary single parent?
Or are you a full time single parent (serious hats off to your guys).
What are you survival tips??
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I love number 2 and 6! I was a single mum for the first two years of motherhood, it is a scary thing. I learnt to shop online as getting to the shops was painful, I also discovered UHT milk so I didn't have to run to the shops for milk! It is a tough gig doing it alone, even more I can assume with 3!
ReplyDeleteYes, wine is VERY important, haha!! We've just bought a big freezer to go in the garage and I fill it with milk and bread, so I never have to do a painful milk run with three kids in tow all wanting lollies!! Best thing ever!
DeleteLOL. I am a temporary single parent on occasions and I can relate to all of your tips. It is much easier now that my girls are older but I get "stuck" into staying up late. Often after midnight. Which means that I am exhausted the next day. And then it continues. Great list.
ReplyDeleteIt's the hardest thing ever going to be early and staying up at night is the only 'alone down-time' you get when you're on your own!! Thanks for reading xxx
DeleteI'm lucky that that hubby doesn't go away too much. But he goes to work at 5am and since October he hasn't been home too often before 7pm. You know the time when all the work it done. I would appreciate a little help during some of those hours.
ReplyDeleteThats a tough gig too Annaleis. Those hours mean that he just about misses all the hard work. I hope you get some 'time-off' on the weekends?? xxx
DeleteYes to the going to bed early part, and keeping calm. I've never had long stints without hubby around, I'd so be at my parents for a week if he went away! As for mess, it's easier to look at with a wine in your hand! Love that story about your FIL throwing his cup, what a disaster it must have been for him. xxx
ReplyDeleteYour parents farm looks so cool that I think I'd be camping out there just because, lol!!! Poor FIL - don't think it did much for his stress levels xx
DeleteI've just done three weeks of it and it's hard work when it's a long period of time. I cope ok with short absences, but the long ones are hard work. I find I can't sleep when he is away, so going to bed early is totally out of the question for me!
ReplyDeleteAh thats tough Jess. You must be exhausted by the time he gets home! Have you tried reading in bed - for some reason can't seem to stay up long enough to get past the second page!! x
DeleteLong time veteran here ;) My favourite thing is to save up those foods the kids want but we don't, such as frankfurts or ravioli and spread them out across the soloing period. It's no time for arguments and sleep is important! #teamIBOT
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more! I don't have the energy to argue with either. I have to say I am also a very lazy cook with my own meals when hubby is away and often just eat cereal or toast!!! xxxx
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